disinfected wid, dey gotter 'noculate him wid the ice-coldlated
quarantimes--but I b'lieves it's conjuration!"


KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY

A lady had the misfortune to lose her season ticket for the railway. On
the same evening she had a call from two boys, the elder of whom at once
handed her the lost ticket. The lady, delighted at the prompt return of
her property, offered the boy a shilling for his trouble. The lad
refused to accept it, telling the lady he was a Boy Scout, and that no
member of the Boy Scouts is allowed to accept any return for a service
rendered.

Just as the coin was about to be placed back in the purse of the lady,
the boy, looking up into her face, suddenly blurted out:

"But my wee brither's no' a Scout."


NOT SO DIFFICULT

Sometimes a situation which to the kind of a mind which requires
certainty seems hopeless can be adjusted in the most common-place
manner:

Congressman Charles R. Davis of Minnesota relates that one afternoon a
train on a Western railroad stopped at a small station, when one of the
passengers, in looking over the place, found his gaze fixed upon an
interesting sign. Hurrying to the side of the conductor, he eagerly