parade-ground, what would you do?"

"Report to the hospital for examination, sir," was the prompt reply.


IN OUR MELTING POT

During a political campaign in New York a Tammany leader on the East
Side, a self-made man and one not entirely completed yet in some
respects, was addressing a mass meeting of Italian-born voters on
behalf of the Democratic ticket.

"Gintlemen and fellow citizens," he began, "I deem it an honor to be
permitted to address you upon the issues of the day. I have always had a
deep admiration for your native land. I vinerate the mimory of that
great, that noble Eyetalian who was the original and first discoverer of
this here land of ours.

"Why, gintlemen, at me mother's knee I was taught to sing that inspirin'
song: 'Columbus, the Jim of the Ocean'!"

Whereupon there was loud applause.


GIVE HIM TIME

Mr. Johnsing had an enthusiastic admirer in Little Eph Jones.

"Yes, suh," he concluded one of his eulogies, "Mistuh Johnsing is the
biggest man what evuh was."