condition lost.

"What the dickens have you been doing to those sheep?" shrieked the
almost frantic manager.

The ex-sailor managed to gasp out: "Well, sir, I've done my best. You
told me to keep them on the run, and so I hunted them up and down and
round--and now--I'm just dead beat myself."


TABLE OF COMPARISON

To instill into the mind of his son sound wisdom and business precepts
was Cohen senior's earnest endeavor. He taught his offspring much,
including the advantages of bankruptcy, failures, and fires. "Two
bankruptcies equal one failure, two failures equal one fire," etc. Then
Cohen junior looked up brightly.

"Fadder," he asked, "is marriage a failure?"

"Vell, my poy," was the parent's reply, "if you marry a really wealthy
woman, marriage is almost as good as a failure."


KNEW HIS JOB

It was Easter eve on leap year, and the dear young thing, who had been
receiving long but somewhat unsatisfactory visits from the very shy
young man, decided she might take a chance. Robert had brought her a
splendid Easter lily.