A visitor to a Glasgow working woman whose son was at the front was
treated to a fluent harangue on the misdeeds of that "auld blackguard,"
the Kaiser. She ventured to suggest that we should love our enemies and
pray for them.

"Oh, but I pray for him, too."

"What do you say?"

"I say, 'Oh, Lord, deal wi' yon old blackguard, saften his heart, and
damp his powther.'"


CAUTIOUS MOURNER

Walking through the village street one day, the widowed Lady Bountiful
met old Farmer Stubbs on his way to market. Her greeting went unnoticed.

"Stubbs," said she, indignantly, "you might at least raise your hat to
me!"

"I beg your pardon, m'lady," was the reply, "but my poor wife ain't dead
moren' two weeks, and I ain't started lookin' at the wimmen yet!"


UNPREPARED BASE THREATENED

Tommy Tonkins was keen on baseball and particularly ambitious to make
his mark as a catcher. Any hint, however small, was welcomed if it
helped on his advance in his department of the game. When he began to