The Chair-guy (whose appearance was comparatively respectable) said he
was proud to occupy the chair--notwithstanding that the bottom was out
of it. (_Shame!_) Oh. he was used to that, although he could tell the
meeting he had driven his own donkey-cart once upon a time, if he had
come down to a wheelbarrow now! (_Cries of "Toff!" and "Aristocrat!"
from the more extreme Guys._) He did not understand those expressions
of disapproval--a wheelbarrow with one leg missing was surely an
unostentatious conveyance enough. Well, they had met that evening
to discuss the means to be taken to obviate the depression in the
important branch of out-door industry in which, if he did not mistake,
they were all interested. (_Hear, hear!_) That such depression
existed, and was on the increase, there was, unhappily, no doubt--it
was becoming more and more difficult, as they knew without his telling
them, for the steadiest Guy to maintain himself in a proper position,
without extraneous support. He knew, for a fact, that there were
hundreds of Guys at that very moment who, when their present job was
over, would find themselves--through no fault of their own--thrown out
of employment for another twelvemonth, at least. Did they call _that_
justice? (_No! and groans._) The whole system was iniquitous--the
question was, how they were to put a stop to it. He invited
suggestions from the Audience.

A Guy said that, in his opinion, their decline was entirely due to
their inability to supply themselves with the apparel necessary and
suitable to their calling. What were their duties? Why, to keep alive
the memory of their famous Founder, the author of the great, and
never-to-be-forgotten Gunpowder Plot--he need hardly say he alluded
to GUIDO FAWKES! (_Enthusiastic and prolonged cheering._) He was no
scholar himself--he had never enjoyed a University education--and he
did not pretend to be an authority on historical costume. Still, he