sisters and aunts of the pupils, who made it a point of honor to pay
their debts. I resisted the blandishments of his place for a long
time. If my judges knew the strength of its seduction, the heroic
efforts I made after stoicism, the repressed desires of my long
resistance, they would pardon my final overthrow. But, child as I was,
could I have the grandeur of soul that scorns the scorn of others?
Moreover, I may have felt the promptings of several social vices whose
power was increased by my longings.

About the end of the second year my father and mother came to Paris.
My brother had written me the day of their arrival. He lived in Paris,
but had never been to see me. My sisters, he said, were of the party;
we were all to see Paris together. The first day we were to dine in
the Palais-Royal, so as to be near the Theatre-Francais. In spite of
the intoxication such a programme of unhoped-for delights excited, my
joy was dampened by the wind of a coming storm, which those who are
used to unhappiness apprehend instinctively. I was forced to own a
debt of a hundred francs to the Sieur Doisy, who threatened to ask my
parents himself for the money. I bethought me of making my brother the
emissary of Doisy, the mouth-piece of my repentance and the mediator
of pardon. My father inclined to forgiveness, but my mother was
pitiless; her dark blue eye froze me; she fulminated cruel prophecies:
"What should I be later if at seventeen years of age I committed such
follies? Was I really a son of hers? Did I mean to ruin my family? Did
I think myself the only child of the house? My brother Charles's
career, already begun, required large outlay, amply deserved by his
conduct which did honor to the family, while mine would always
disgrace it. Did I know nothing of the value of money, and what I cost
them? Of what use were coffee and sugar to my education? Such conduct
was the first step into all the vices."