when we find it.

FAMILY. The only cure for race suicide.

FAVOR. Something we do for a friend so he can forget about it.

FLATTERER. A man who makes friends until he begins to talk about
himself.

FORGER. A man who tries to make a name for himself, but who picks out
the wrong name.

FRIEND. A man who knows you are a liar, but hopes otherwise.

FRIENDSHIP. The name of the handle some people put on other people for
the purpose of using them.

[Illustration]

FOOTBALL. A system of manslaughter very fashionable with boys. From the
Latin words "footibus," meaning "_put the boots to him_," and
"balloona," meaning "up in the air, or, who hit me with a public
building?" A body of college students surrounded by ambulances. For
instance:

Sing a song of football
Pockets full of salve;
Four and twenty legs all
Punctured at the calve.
Captain in the hospital