that you could do everything there, except get into debt. (His
dictionary was an expurgated edition, and did not contain the word
'credit.') Throughout life's fitful fever Hugo undertook to meet all
your demands. Your mother could buy your layette from him, and your
cradle, soothing-syrup, perambulator, and toys; she could hire your
nurse at Hugo's. Your school-master could purchase canes there. Hugo
sold the material for every known game; also sweets, cigarettes,
penknives, walking-sticks, moustache-forcers, neckties, and
trouser-stretchers. He shaved you, and kept the latest in scents and
kit-bags. He was unsurpassed for fishing-rods, motor-cars, Swinburne's
poems, button-holes, elaborate bouquets, fans, and photographs. His
restaurant was full of discreet corners with tables for two under
rose-shaded lights. He booked seats for theatres, trains, steamers,
grand-stands, and the Empire. He dealt in all stocks and shares. He was
a banker. He acted as agent for all insurance companies. He would insert
advertisements in the agony column, or any other column, of any
newspaper. If you wanted a flat, a house, a shooting-box, a castle, a
yacht, or a salmon river, Hugo could sell, or Hugo could let, the very
thing. He provided strong-rooms for your savings, and summer quarters
for your wife's furs; conjurers to amuse your guests after dinner, and
all the requisites for your daughter's wedding, from the cake and the
silk petticoats to the Viennese band. His wine-cellars and his specific
for the gout were alike famous; so also was his hair-dye.... And,
lastly, when the riddle of existence had become too much for your
curiosity, Hugo would sell you a pistol by means of which you could
solve it. And he would bury you in a manner first-class, second-class,
or third-class, according to your deserts.

And all these feats Hugo managed to organize within the compass of four
floors, a basement, and a sub-basement. Above, were five floors of