to acts of violence, which are instilled into New England youth; if a
man were rude, I would turn away from him. But I soon found that men
in California were likely to take very great liberties with a person
who acted in such a manner, and that the only way to get along was
to hold every man responsible, and resent every trespass upon
one's rights. Though I was not prepared to follow Judge Bennett's
suggestion, I did purchase a pair of revolvers and had a sack-coat
made with pockets in which the barrels could lie, and be discharged;
and I began to practice firing the pistols from the pockets. In time I
acquired considerable skill, and was able to hit a small object across
the street. An object so large as a man I could have hit without
difficulty. I had come to the conclusion that if I had to give up my
independence; if I had to avoid a man because I was afraid he would
attack me; if I had to cross the street every time I saw him coming,
life itself was not worth having.

Having determined neither to seek him nor to shun him, I asked a
friend to carry a message to him, and to make sure that it would reach
him, I told different parties what I had sent, and I was confident
that they would repeat it to him. "Tell him from me," I said, "that
I do not want any collision with him; that I desire to avoid all
personal difficulties; but that I shall not attempt to avoid him; that
I shall not cross the street on his account, nor go a step out of my
way for him; that I have heard of his threats, and that if he attacks
me or comes at me in a threatening manner I will kill him."[4] I
acted on my plan. I often met him in the streets and in saloons, and
whenever I drew near him I dropped my hand into my pocket and cocked
my pistols to be ready for any emergency. People warned me to look
out for him; to beware of being taken at a disadvantage; and I was
constantly on my guard. I felt that I was in great danger; but after