offen your mind. You know all that stuff we been readin in the war
stories about hospittles an the like. It all goes the same. "The next
thing the fello knew he was lyin between snowy white sheets an a
butiful vizun was bendin over him. She had vilet eyes an was full of
tears like shed been cryin or something. An she smooths out his pillo
an says 'Your better now.'" That smoothin out the pillo always seems
to cure em. Well, Mable, Im sorry to say thats all bunk--every word of
it.

When I first heard they were goin to send me to a hospittle behind the
lines I didnt care a bit. I wanted to have a look at a vilet eyed
nurse. Accordin to the books they usuly turn out to be Dutcheses or
somebody. I was plannin to look up in her eyes an say "This must be
heven. Do you happen to have any lemonade?" Or something mushy like
that. Then shed cry some more an like as not put a stick in the
lemonade.

[Illustration: "'DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY LEMONADE?'"]

Of course I wouldnt have married her or nothin. In the first place all
the churches over here is knocked down an besides I got other plans if
I ever get a chance between wars.

The thing started off all wrong by my not bein unconshus when they
brought me in. I didnt even ride in on a stretcher. I was a sittin
case. They walk. Before I could get into the place at all I had to
report to a sargent. He ast me so many questions I thought I must have
struck some recruitin stashun an might be enlistin agen. I pretty near
had heart failure for a minit. The sargent told me report to Ward 19.
You never go anywhere in the army. You report. Theyd have a fello in