so much as starts off with his left foot hes goin to have the worst
lickin you ever heard of.

A General inspected us today. I cant help feelin sorry for his wife.
She must spend most of her time lookin for a new hired girl. If he
ever said anything nice to anybody I bet hed come back an apologize.
Hes the kind of a fello that eats his own young.

Everybody knew the General wasnt comin over to hang no wreaths around
nobodies neck. So we all slicked up pretty well to humor him.

Everything would have gone off as well as you could have expected if
it hadnt been for that horse. A jokes all right in its place but its
place aint under a General. The horse was so big that the General like
to have bust gettin up. As soon as he got set the horse took a couple
of steps. Then he sat down in the mud like a dog an let out a groan.

Of course it was all off then. By the time hed coaxed that horse up to
the battery he was so sore hed have found rust on the perly gates an
put Saint Peter under arrest for not bein shaved.

When he got around to my seckshun I thought he was about due to be out
of breath. I had a little rip in my pants that I hadnt had time to sew
up. Nothing anybodied notice. Just my knee stickin thru. That fello
could see a hole in your undershirt tho. When he came up to me he
looked me over like I was a windo dummy that he didnt care much about.
Then he says to the Captin "What do you mean by lettin a man stand
inspeckshun like that?"

The Captin looked at me surprised like hed never seen me before. Then