CHAPTER ONE - INTRODUCING AUNT MARY


The first time that Jack was threatened with expulsion from college his
Aunt Mary was much surprised and decidedly vexed—mainly at the college.
His family were less surprised, viewing the young man through a clearer
atmosphere than his Aunt Mary ever had, and knowing that he had barely
escaped similar experiences earlier in his career by invariably leaving
school the day before the board of inquiry convened.

Jack’s preparatory days having been more or less tempestous, his family
(Aunt Mary excepted) had expected some sort of after-clap when he entered
college. Nevertheless, they had fervently hoped that it would not be quite
as bad as this.

Jack’s sister Arethusa was visiting her aunt when the news came. Not
because she wanted to, for the old lady was dreadfully deaf and fearfully
arbitrary, but because Lucinda had said that she must go to her cousin’s
wedding, and the family always had to bow to Lucinda’s mandates. Lucinda
was Aunt Mary’s maid, but she had become so indispensable as a sitter at
the off-end of the latter’s ear-trumpet that none of the grand-nephews or
grand-nieces ever thought for an instant of crossing one of her wishes. So
it was to Arethusa that the explanations due Aunt Mary’s interest in her
scapegrace fell, and she bowed her back to the burden with the resignation
which the circumstances demanded.

"Whatever is the difference between bein’ expelled and bein’ suspended?"
Aunt Mary demanded, in her tone of imperious impatience. "Well, why don’t