Joanna Godden by Sheila Kaye-Smith
page 62 of 444 (13%)
page 62 of 444 (13%)
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"They're saying it, missus, but it äun't true."
"I don't care if it's true or not. You shouldn't ought to tell my gal Martha such things before you tell me." Socknersh's eyes opened wide, and the other men looked up from their work. "Seemingly," continued Joanna, "everyone on this farm hears everything before I do, and it ain't right. Next time you hear a lot of tedious gossip, Dick Socknersh, you come and tell me, and don't waste it on the gals, making them idle." She went away, her eyes bright with anger, and then suddenly her heart smote her. Suppose Socknersh took offence and gave notice. She had rebuked him publicly before the hired shearers--it was enough to make any man turn. But what should she do if he went?--He must not go. She would never get anyone like him. She almost turned and went back, but had enough sense to stop--a public apology would only make a worse scandal of a public rebuke. She must wait and see him alone ... the next minute she knew further that she must not apologize, and the minute after she knew further still--almost further than she could bear--that in denying herself an apology she was denying herself a luxury, that she wanted to apologize, to kneel at Socknersh's clay-caked feet and beg his forgiveness, to humble herself before him by her penitence so that he could exalt her by his pardon.... "Good sakes! Whatever's the matter with me?" thought Joanna. |
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