mental trials, but only that he may minister to them. Among true friends
jealousy has no place: they do not complain of one another for making new
friends, or for not revealing some secret of their lives; (in friendship
too there must be reserves;) they do not intrude upon one another, and they
mutually rejoice in any good which happens to either of them, though it may
be to the loss of the other. They may live apart and have little
intercourse, but when they meet, the old tie is as strong as ever--
according to the common saying, they find one another always the same. The
greatest good of friendship is not daily intercourse, for circumstances
rarely admit of this; but on the great occasions of life, when the advice
of a friend is needed, then the word spoken in season about conduct, about
health, about marriage, about business,--the letter written from a distance
by a disinterested person who sees with clearer eyes may be of inestimable
value. When the heart is failing and despair is setting in, then to hear
the voice or grasp the hand of a friend, in a shipwreck, in a defeat, in
some other failure or misfortune, may restore the necessary courage and
composure to the paralysed and disordered mind, and convert the feeble
person into a hero; (compare Symposium).

It is true that friendships are apt to be disappointing: either we expect
too much from them; or we are indolent and do not 'keep them in repair;' or
being admitted to intimacy with another, we see his faults too clearly and
lose our respect for him; and he loses his affection for us. Friendships
may be too violent; and they may be too sensitive. The egotism of one of
the parties may be too much for the other. The word of counsel or sympathy
has been uttered too obtrusively, at the wrong time, or in the wrong
manner; or the need of it has not been perceived until too late. 'Oh if he
had only told me' has been the silent thought of many a troubled soul. And
some things have to be indicated rather than spoken, because the very
mention of them tends to disturb the equability of friendship. The