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Love Conquers All by Robert Benchley
page 32 of 237 (13%)




VII

WATCHING BASEBALL


D.A.C. NEWS

Eighteen men play a game of baseball and eighteen thousand watch them,
and yet those who play are the only ones who have any official direction
in the matter of rules and regulations. The eighteen thousand are
allowed to run wild. They don't have even a Spalding's Guide containing
group photographs of model organizations of fans in Fall River, Mass.,
or the Junior Rooters of Lyons, Nebraska. Whatever course of behavior a
fan follows at a game he makes up for himself. This is, of course,
ridiculous.

The first set of official rulings for spectators at baseball games has
been formulated and is herewith reproduced. It is to be hoped that in
the general cleanup which the game is undergoing, the grandstand and
bleachers will not resent a little dictation from the authorities.

In the first place, there is the question of shouting encouragement, or
otherwise, at the players. There must be no more random screaming. It
is of course understood that the players are entirely dependent on the
advice offered them from the stands for their actions in the game, and
how is a batter to know what to do if, for instance, he hears a little
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