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Love Conquers All by Robert Benchley
page 38 of 237 (16%)

There is much to be watched during the early stages of
garden-preparation. Nothing is so satisfying as to lean ruminatingly
against a fence and observe the slow, rhythmic swing of the digger's
back or hear the repeated scraping of the shovel-edge against some
buried rock. It sometimes is a help to the digger to sing a chanty, just
to give him the beat. And then sometimes it is not. He will tell you in
case he doesn't need it.

There is always a great deal for the watcher to do in the nature of
comment on the soil. This is especially true if it is a new garden or
has never been cultivated before by the present owner. The idea is to
keep the owner from becoming too sanguine over the prospects.

"That soil looks pretty clayey," is a good thing to say. (It is hard to
say, clearly, too. You had better practise it before trying it out on
the gardener).

"I don't think that you'll have much luck with potatoes in that kind of
earth," is another helpful approach. It is even better to go at it the
other way, finding out first what the owner expects to plant. It may be
that he isn't going to plant any potatoes, and then there you are, stuck
with a perfectly dandy prediction which has no bearing on the case. It
is time enough to pull it after he has told you that he expects to plant
peas, beans, beets, corn. Then you can interrupt him and say: "Corn?"
incredulously. "You don't expect to get any corn in that soil do you?
Don't you know that corn requires a large percentage of bi-carbonate of
soda in the soil, and I don't think, from the looks, that there is an
ounce of soda bi-carb. in your whole plot. Even if the corn does come
up, it will be so tough you can't eat it."
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