time, to give the men a chance to get into condition; and meanwhile as
stakeholder I continue to hold the five francs and the bath-plug."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Profiteer_ (_to M.F.H._). "LOOK 'ERE!--THIS IS THE
THIRD TIME I'VE BEEN OUT WITH YOUR CROWD, AN' Y' 'AVEN'T CAUGHT A
FOX. BEST THING _YOU_ CAN DO IS TO GIMME BACK ME 'SUB' AN' SELL YER
BLOOMIN' DOGS!"]

* * * * *

[ILLUSTRATION: _BLUSTEROUS PERSON_ (_WHO HAS FORCED A CIGAR ON
UNWILLING CLUB ACQUAINTANCE_), "THERE MY BOY--YOU DON'T OFTEN SMOKE A
THING LIKE THAT! THAT'S SOMETHING LIKE A CIGAR, EH?"

_The Victim_. "YES--SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT?"]

* * * * *

THE TRUE SONG-STUFF.

[A writer in an evening paper describes a certain song as
being sung, "sometimes with a lump in the throat and a tear in
the eye," all over England.]

If you wish to succeed as a writer
Of songs that undoubtedly count,
By making the atmosphere brighter,
The moral barometer mount,