DEAR MR. PUNCH,

More than a fortnight ago I fled from the London fog, with the result
that it got thicker than ever about me in the minds of your readers
and yourself! I determined during my absence to do what many people
in the world of Art and _Letters_ have done before me, employ a
"Ghost"--(my _first_ dealings with the supernatural, and probably my
_last_!). I wired to one of the leading Sporting Journals for their
most reliable Racing Ghost--he was busy watching _Nunthorpe_--(who is
only the Ghost of what he was!)--and the Bogie understudy sent to
me was a Parliamentary Reporter!--(hence the stilted style of the
letter signed "POMPERSON." Heavens! what a name!)--I had five minutes
to explain the situation to him before catching the _train de
luxe_--(Lord ARTHUR had gone on with the luggage)--and I don't
think he had the ghostliest idea of what I wanted!--the one point he
grasped, was, that he was to use anonymous names--which he did with
a vengeance!--My horror on reading his letter was such that I
dropped all the money I had in my hand on the "red" instead of the
"black"--and it won!--(I think I shall bring out a system based on
"fright.")

Of course all my friends thought Lord ARTHUR and I had quarrelled,
and I was "off" with someone else!--What a fog. This idea being
confirmed by the following week's letter, which was the well-meant
but misdirected effort of my friend Lady HARRIETT ENTOUCAS, to whom
I wired to "do something for me"--(she pretty nearly did for me
altogether!)--there was nothing for it but to come home--where I
am--Lord ARTHUR wanted to write you this week, but I thought one
explanation at a time quite enough--so his shall follow--"if you want