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Woman As She Should Be - or, Agnes Wiltshire by Mary E. Herbert
page 64 of 113 (56%)

"Very true, Ellen, but"--and an involuntary sigh followed the
sentence--"you know not, and I trust will never know, from experience,
that 'Hope deferred maketh the heart sick.'"

"I know something about that, too, Miss Agnes, though maybe you think me
too young; but, indeed, there was once a weary while, when I watched the
sea day after day, that is, when the scalding tears would let me see
it, and shuddered to hear the fierce winds moaning round our dwelling,
as though they had a human heart, and sighed and raved for some lost
love. Oh, how I remember the day, when that long-looked for vessel came
back again, for I had got up more down-hearted than ever, and I thought
it no use hoping and waiting, for I shall never see it again,--and then
the salt sea was not salter than the tears I shed, as I sat down on a
rock by the shore, and thought of the stalwart form that would never
meet my eye again, and of the kind voice that should never sound in my
ears,--and as I looked on the sea, its bright waves rippling and smiling
beneath my feet, it seemed to laugh and mock me cruelly, and I almost
wished myself,--I know it was very wicked, Miss Agnes,--far, far beneath
it, where I should forget my troubles, and my heart cease its aching.
And then I laid my head on the rock, and covered my face with my hands,
and cried as though I should never cease, until I felt something touch
my face, and a voice that I knew too well said, 'Ellen, Ellen, what art
thou breaking thy heart for in this manner?'--and I looked up, and saw
two eyes, that, a moment before, I thought death had closed, shining
brightly on me, and--but you have seen him yourself, Miss Agnes, and can
easy guess how happy I was. Oh, it made up for all my weary days, and
wretched, sleepless nights."

Agnes had listened with much interest to the simple narrative, and
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