The Theater (1720) by Sir John Falstaffe
page 27 of 61 (44%)
page 27 of 61 (44%)
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her Husband; nor is suffer'd to go back to the Bed of Wedlock, till she has
promis'd her disgusted Friend, by a forc'd Indifference to restrain the Liberties of the inamour'd _Gellius_. The learned Times, I find, were not unacquainted with these _Female Intimacies_: And by the Names they affix'd to the Persons practising them, which I shall forbear to mention, 'tis plain they put none of the best Constructions on their Familiarities. _Plato_, I remember, offers at a Reason in Nature for such Conversations. He tells us, that at first Mankind were made with _Two_ Heads, _Four_ Arms, _Four_ Legs, and so every Way double: that of these, there were _three_ Sorts; some, double Men; some, double Women; and some Hermaphrodites. _Jupiter_, upon an Offence committed, split them all into _Two's_; from whence arises in Mankind that Desire of a Companion, as his other half to perfect his Being. The Consequence of this Division was, that they, who in their original State were _double Men_, are still fond of the _Ganymede's_ with smooth Chins; and they, who were at first _double Women_, are at this Day enamoured of their own Sex, and _Platonicks_ as to any Commerce with Ours. I have heard so much to the Disadvantage of these _Inamorata's_, that I consider a Man, who is link'd to such a Wife, in the State of the _Lover_ and his _Two Mistresses_ in the _Fable_. The one, who was a little turned in Years, pulled out all his _black_ Hairs, to make him look nearer to her Standing: and the other, who was in her Bloom, pick'd out all the _grey_ ones, that the World might not suspect she had an Old Man; 'till between them, they made him as bald as Father _Time_ himself. I shall conclude with the Story of an unfortunate Gentleman, who had |
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