friends and enemies would be equally ready to prevent him, but now there is
no friend who will be ashamed of him and admonish him, and no enemy will
charge him with meanness or flattery; the actions of a lover have a grace
which ennobles them; and custom has decided that they are highly
commendable and that there no loss of character in them; and, what is
strangest of all, he only may swear and forswear himself (so men say), and
the gods will forgive his transgression, for there is no such thing as a
lover's oath. Such is the entire liberty which gods and men have allowed
the lover, according to the custom which prevails in our part of the world.
From this point of view a man fairly argues that in Athens to love and to
be loved is held to be a very honourable thing. But when parents forbid
their sons to talk with their lovers, and place them under a tutor's care,
who is appointed to see to these things, and their companions and equals
cast in their teeth anything of the sort which they may observe, and their
elders refuse to silence the reprovers and do not rebuke them--any one who
reflects on all this will, on the contrary, think that we hold these
practices to be most disgraceful. But, as I was saying at first, the truth
as I imagine is, that whether such practices are honourable or whether they
are dishonourable is not a simple question; they are honourable to him who
follows them honourably, dishonourable to him who follows them
dishonourably. There is dishonour in yielding to the evil, or in an evil
manner; but there is honour in yielding to the good, or in an honourable
manner. Evil is the vulgar lover who loves the body rather than the soul,
inasmuch as he is not even stable, because he loves a thing which is in
itself unstable, and therefore when the bloom of youth which he was
desiring is over, he takes wing and flies away, in spite of all his words
and promises; whereas the love of the noble disposition is life-long, for
it becomes one with the everlasting. The custom of our country would have
both of them proven well and truly, and would have us yield to the one sort
of lover and avoid the other, and therefore encourages some to pursue, and