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The Poor Scholar - Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of - William Carleton, Volume Three by William Carleton
page 79 of 179 (44%)
example of it. That, and the doctrine of projectile forces, have been
exemplified in a manner that will prevent me from ever relishing these
subjects in future. No king can consider himself properly such until
after he has received the oil of consecration; but you, it appears,
think differently. You have unkinged me first, and anointed me
afterwards; but, I say, no potentate would relish such unction. It
smells confoundedly of republicanism. Maybe this is what you understand
by the Republic of Letters; but, if it be, I would advise you to change
your principles. You treated my ribs as if they were the ribs of a
common man; my shins you took liberties with even to excoriation;
my head you made a target of, for your hardest turf; and my nose you
dishonored to my fage. Was this ginerous? was it discreet? was it
subordinate? and, above all, was it classical? However, I will show you
what greatness of mind is. I will convince you that it is more noble and
god-like to forgive an injury, or rather five dozen injuries, than to
avenge one; when--hem---yes, I say, when I--I--might so easily avenge
it. I now present you wid an amnesty: return to you allegiance; but
never, while in this seminary, under my tuition, attempt to take the
execution of the laws into your own hands. Homerians, come up!"

This address, into which he purposely threw a dash of banter and mock
gravity, delivered with the accompaniments of his swelled nose and
drooping eye, pacified his audience more readily than a serious one
would have done. It was received without any reply or symptom of
disrespect, unless the occasional squeak of a suppressed laugh, or the
visible shaking of many sides with inward convulsions, might be termed
such.

In the course of the day, it is true, their powers of maintaining
gravity were put to a severe test, particularly when, while hearing a
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