long for rest.

_20th._ We begin to feel we shall have to decline service as
heretofore, unless our position is changed. I shall not say but we
submit too much in not declining at once, but it has seemed most prudent
at least to make suit with Government rather than provoke the hostility
of their subalterns. We were ordered here with little understanding of
the true state of things as they really exist here; and were advised by
Friends to come and make no objections, being assured it was but for a
very brief time and only a matter of form. It might not have been wrong;
but as we find we do too much fill the places of soldiers (L.M.M.'s
fellow fireman has just left for the field, and I am to take his place,
for instance), and are clearly doing military service, we are
continually oppressed by a sense of guilt, that makes our struggles
earnest.

_21st._--I.N. has not called yet; our situation is becoming almost
intolerable. I query if patience is justified under the circumstances.
My distress of mind may be enhanced by my feeble condition of health,
for today I am confined to my bed, almost too weak to get downstairs.
This is owing to exposure after being heated over the furnaces.

_26th._--Though a week has gone by, and my cold has left me, I find I am
no better, and that I am reduced very low in strength and flesh by the
sickness and pain I am experiencing. Yet I still persist in going below
once a day. The food I am able to get is not such as is proper.

_11th_ mo., _5th._--I spend most of my time on my bed, much of it alone.
And very precious to me is the nearness unto the Master I am favoured to
attain to. Notwithstanding my situation and state, I am happy in the