* * * * *

"The sort of women who literally make ducks and drakes of their duty as
the family administrator."--_Spectator._

Having regard to the high price of poultry might not the new
Food-Controller get these women to explain how they do it?

* * * * *

THE BUFFER'S VINDICATION.

I haven't fought, I haven't dug, I've worn no special caps,
Too little has my country, sure, had from me;
_But_ I've never talked of "strafe-ing" anyone for any lapse,
And I've never called a fighting man a "Tommy."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Old Soldier_ (_trying to "swing the lead"_). "WELL, SIR, I
CAN'T NEITHER EAT, SLEEP NOR DRINK, SIR."

_M.O._ (_in a spasm of enthusiasm_). "MY GOOD MAN! THE ARMY WANTS A
BATTALION LIKE YOU!"]

* * * * *

THE WATCH DOGS.