"A small fire at a variety theatre burnt some dresses all up, but the
revue went on as usual."--_Berrow's Worcester Journal._

No need to worry over little things like that.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Long-suffering Sergeant._ "WE GOT ANOTHER ARF-HOUR TO GO
YET. _I_ DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YER."

_Rookie_ (_suggestively_). "THERE'S SOME TREES OVER THERE, SERGEANT."

_Sergeant._ "YES, I KNOW. BUT THERE AIN'T ANY ROPES."]

* * * * *

TO FIELD-MARSHAL SIR DOUGLAS HAIG.

JUNE 19TH, 1917.

Sir, though in dealing with the strong and straight
Of sentiment one cannot be too thrifty,
Still, after reading your despatch--the date
Chimes with your birthday, _ætat_ six-and-fifty--
A humble rhymer, though denied by fate
Possession of the high poetic "giftie,"
May yet express the hope it won't displease you
To see yourself as one plain person sees you.

Some call you cold, because you are not prone