and I know it perhaps better than anyone else. I like Guy and believe
him to be the best man in the world, and I would rather he kissed me
than Tom, but do not want anybody to kiss me; and Guy is so
affectionate, and his great hands are so hot, and muss my fluted dresses
so terribly.

I guess I don't like to be married anyway. If one only could have the
house, and the money, and the nice things without the man! That's
wicked, of course, when Guy is so kind and loves me so much. I wish he
didn't, but I would not for the world let him know how I feel. I did
tell him that I was not the wife he ought to have, but he would not
believe me, and father was anxious, and so I married him, meaning to do
the best I could. It was splendid at Saratoga, only Guy danced so
ridiculously and would not let me waltz with those young men. As if I
cared a straw for them or any other man besides Guy and Tom!

It is pleasant here at Elmwood, only the house is not as grand as I
supposed, and there are not as many servants, and the family carriage is
awful poky. Guy is to give me a pretty little phaeton on my birthday.

I like Miss Frances very much, only she is such a raging housekeeper,
and keeps me all the while on the alert. I don't believe in these raging
housekeepers, who act as if they wanted to make the bed before you are
up, and eat breakfast before it is ready. I don't like to get up in the
morning anyway, and I don't like to hurry, and I am always behind, and
keeping somebody waiting, and that disturbs the people here very much.
Miss Frances seems really cross sometimes, and even Guy looks sober and
disturbed when he has waited for me half an hour. I guess I must try and
do better, for both Guy and Miss Frances are as good as they can be, but
then I am not one bit like them, and have never been accustomed to