willing to dispense with my services."

So far, I had succeeded in controlling myself. At that reply I
felt my resolution failing me. I saw how he suffered; I saw how
manfully he struggled to conceal it.

"I am not willing," I said. "I am sorry--very, very sorry to lose
you. But I will do anything that is for your good. I can say no
more."

He rose suddenly, as if to leave the room; mastered himself;
stood for a moment silently looking at me--then looked away
again, and said his parting words.

"If I succeed, Miss Mina, in my new employment--if I get on to
higher things--is it--is it presuming too much, to ask if I
might, some day--perhaps when you are out riding alone--if I
might speak to you--only to ask if you are well and happy--"

He could say no more. I saw the tears in his eyes; saw him shaken
by the convulsive breathings which break from men in the rare
moments when they cry. He forced it back even then. He bowed to
me--oh, God, he bowed to me, as if he were only my servant! as if
he were too far below me to take my hand, even at that moment! I
could have endured anything else; I believe I could still have
restrained myself under any other circumstances. It matters
little now; my confession must be made, whatever you may think of
me. I flew to him like a frenzied creature--I threw my arms round
his neck--I said to him, "Oh, Michael, don't you know that I love
you?" And then I laid my head on his breast, and held him to me,