_Phan._ Nay, sir, the actuality of the performance puts it beyond all
contradiction. With his tongue he'd so vowel you out as smooth _Italian_
as any man breathing; with his eye he would sparkle forth the proud
_Spanish_; with his nose blow out most robustious _Dutch_; the creaking
of his high-heeled shoe would articulate exact _Polonian_; the knocking
of his shinbone feminine _French_; and his belly would grumble most pure
and scholar-like _Hungary_."

This, though extravagant without fancy, is not the worst part of the
absurd humour which runs through this pedantic comedy.

The classical reader may perhaps be amused by the following strange
conceits. Poeta, who was in love with Historia, capriciously falls in
love with Astronomia, and thus compares his mistress:--

Her _brow_ is like a brave _heroic_ line
That does a sacred majestie inshrine;
Her _nose, Phaleuciake_-like, in comely sort,
Ends in a _Trochie_, or a long and short.
Her _mouth_ is like a pretty _Dimeter_;
Her _eie-brows_ like a little-longer _Trimeter_.
Her _chinne_ is an _adonicke_, and her _tongue_
Is an _Hypermeter_, somewhat too long.
Her _eies_ I may compare them unto two
Quick-turning _dactyles_, for their nimble view.
Her _ribs_ like staues of _Sapphicks_ doe descend
Thither, which but to name were to offend.
Her _arms_ like two _Iambics_ raised on hie,
Doe with her brow bear equal majestie;