(MARK TWAIN).




COMBED OUT

I

SQUAD DRILL


Our Sergeant looked at us contemptuously and we looked anxiously back at
him. Then he gave his first instructions:

"Now I'm goin' ter show yer 'ow ter do squad drill. It's quite
heasy--yer've only got ter use a bit o' common sense an' do hexac'ly as
I tell yer. Now we'll start wi' the turns. When I gives the order Right
Turn, yer turn ter yer right on yer right 'eel an' yer left toe. When I
gives the order Left Turn, yer turn on yer left 'eel an' yer right toe.
Now just 'ave a try an' see if yer can do it.--Squad!--now when I shouts
Squad it's a word o' warnin', an' it means I want yer ter be ready ter
go through yer evverlutions. Now then, yer s'posed ter be standin' to
attention. That's not the way ter stand to attention--yer want ter use
some common sense--when yer stand to attention, yer stand wi' yer chest
out, yer stomach in, yer 'eads erect an' facin' to yer front, yer
shoulders straight, an' yer 'ands 'angin' down by yer sides wi' yer
thumbs along the seams o' yer trousers. Now then, Squad! Stand at
Ease!... When I gives the order Stand at Ease, yer places yer feet about