should not follow the dictates of passion in the most important act of his
or her life'? Who would willingly enter into a contract at first sight,
almost without thought, against the advice and opinion of his friends, at a
time when he acknowledges that he is not in his right mind? And yet they
are praised by the authors of romances, who reject the warnings of their
friends or parents, rather than those who listen to them in such matters.
Two inexperienced persons, ignorant of the world and of one another, how
can they be said to choose?--they draw lots, whence also the saying,
'marriage is a lottery.' Then he would describe their way of life after
marriage; how they monopolize one another's affections to the exclusion of
friends and relations: how they pass their days in unmeaning fondness or
trivial conversation; how the inferior of the two drags the other down to
his or her level; how the cares of a family 'breed meanness in their
souls.' In the fulfilment of military or public duties, they are not
helpers but hinderers of one another: they cannot undertake any noble
enterprise, such as makes the names of men and women famous, from domestic
considerations. Too late their eyes are opened; they were taken unawares
and desire to part company. Better, he would say, a 'little love at the
beginning,' for heaven might have increased it; but now their foolish
fondness has changed into mutual dislike. In the days of their honeymoon
they never understood that they must provide against offences, that they
must have interests, that they must learn the art of living as well as
loving. Our misogamist will not appeal to Anacreon or Sappho for a
confirmation of his view, but to the universal experience of mankind. How
much nobler, in conclusion, he will say, is friendship, which does not
receive unmeaning praises from novelists and poets, is not exacting or
exclusive, is not impaired by familiarity, is much less expensive, is not
so likely to take offence, seldom changes, and may be dissolved from time
to time without the assistance of the courts. Besides, he will remark that
there is a much greater choice of friends than of wives--you may have more