* * *

No fewer than twenty-seven poems on Spring have been received by one weekly
paper editor. Yet there are people who still maintain that the crime wave
is on the wane.

* * *

"The Irish swear by two staple beverages," says _The Daily Mail_. We feel,
however, that an Irishman who was really trying could swear by more than
this.

* * *

We understand that the Foreign Office takes a serious view of the large
number of public-houses which have been burgled during the last few weeks.
It is feared that it may be the work of a foreign spy who is endeavouring
to secure the recipe of British Government ale.

* * *

"A large number of army tanks have been sent to Africa," announces an
article in a daily paper. However, as the brontosaurus is supposed to
devour four of these delicacies at every meal, it is feared that unless a
great many more are sent out immediately this dainty animal may be faced
with extermination.

* * *

A morning paper announces that all airships of "R 34" type are now