the habit of saving.]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: JULIUS CÆSAR ON THE LINKS.

_Actor_ (_whose knowledge of SHAKSPEARE is greater than his golf_). "'O,
PARDON ME, THOU BLEEDING PIECE OF EARTH.'"]

* * * * *

RINGS FROM SATURN.

(_Extracted from various issues of "The Daily Mandate."_)

I.

_To the Editor of "The Daily Mandate."_

SIR,--For a number of years I have been experimenting in wireless telephony
with my installation on the heights of Lavender Hill. On several occasions
recently I have been puzzled by mysterious ringings of the bell attached to
the instrument, which have obviously been set up by long-distance waves. On
taking up the receiver, however, I have been unable to make out any
coherent message, but only a succession of irregular squeaks, although once
I distinctly, heard a word which I can only transcribe as "Gurroo." I have
no doubt in my own mind that one of the more advanced planets is trying to
get in touch with us by means of wireless telephony, and that once we have
deciphered the code we shall be able to converse freely with its
inhabitants. I myself incline to the belief that these rings emanate from