CHAPTER XVI.


Nothing contributes more frequently to indecision of character in the
larger concerns of existence than a life overcrowded with effort and
performance. Had Robert Trenholme not been living at too great a pace,
his will, naturally energetic, would not, during that spring and summer,
have halted as it did between his love for Sophia Rexford and his shame
concerning his brother's trade. With the end of June his school had
closed for the summer, but at that time the congregation at his little
church greatly increased; then, too, he had repairs in the college to
superintend, certain articles to write for a Church journal, interesting
pupils to correspond with--in a word, his energy, which sometimes by
necessity and sometimes by ambition had become regulated to too quick a
pace, would not now allow him to take leisure when it offered, or even
to perceive the opportunity. His mind, habituated to unrest, was
perpetually suggesting to him things needing to be done, and he always
saw a mirage of leisure in front of him, and went on the faster in order
to come up to it. By this mirage he constantly vowed to himself that
when the opportunity came he would take time to think out some things
which had grown indistinct to him. At present the discomfort and sorrow
of not feeling at liberty to make love to the woman he loved was some
excuse for avoiding thought, and he found distraction in hard work and
social engagements. With regard to Sophia he stayed his mind on the
belief that if he dared not woo she was not being wooed, either by any
man who was his rival, or by those luxuries and tranquillities of life