to keep me company." She smiled sweetly in my direction. "He was _most_
entertaining. I've been chuckling ever since."

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Urchin_ (_who has been "moved on" by emaciated policeman_).
"AIN'T YER GOT A COOK ON YOUR BEAT?"]

* * * * *

OUR SPARTAN EDITORS.

"WANTED: THE CAT. By Horatio Bottomley."--_John Bull._

* * * * *

MARDI GRAS.

(_With the British Army in France._)

"Have you reflected, _mon chou_," said M'sieur Bonneton, complacently
regarding the green carnations on his carpet-slippers, "that to-morrow is
Mardi Gras?"

"I have," replied Madame shortly.

"One may expect then, _ma petite,_ that there will be _crêpes_ for dinner?"