Memoirs of Arthur Hamilton, B. A. Of Trinity College, Cambridge - Extracted From His Letters And Diaries, With Reminiscences Of His Conversation By His Friend Christopher Carr Of The Same College by Arthur Christopher Benson
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page 35 of 186 (18%)
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accept the whole body as full of light.
Very slowly his convictions crystallized; he had a period of very earnest thoughtâduring the time of which I have just been speakingâin which he shunned the subject in conversation; but I have reason to believe from the books he read, and from two or three letters to his friend, the curate of whom I have been speaking, that he was thinking deeply upon revealed religion. It must, however, be remembered that he never went through that period of agonized uprooting of venerated and cherished sentiment that many whose faith has been very keen and integral in their lives pass through, the dark valley of doubt. His religion had not intwined itself into his life; it was not shrined among his sacred memories or laid away in secret storehouses of thought. "I have never felt the agony of a dying faith," he wrote to a friend who was sorely troubled, "so you will forgive me if I do not seem to sympathize very delicately with you, or if I seem not to understand the darkness you are in. But I have been in deep waters myself, though of another kind. I have seen an old ideal foully shattered in a moment, and a hope that I had held and that had consecrated my life for many years, not only crushed in an instantâthat would have been bad enoughâbut its place filled by an image of despair ... so you will see that I _can_ feel for you, as I _do_. "Leading to the light is a sad, terribly sad, and wearying process; I have not won it yet, but I have seen glimpses which have dispelled a gloom which I thought was hopeless. My dear friend, I _know_ that God will bring you out into a place of liberty, as He has brought me; in |
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