"Nor will you know anything about it, I suppose, until the name of the
church is spread broadcast through your newspaper advertising."

Now, it is a rule of the patent medicine trade never to advertise an
unwilling testimonial because that kind always has a kick-back. Hence:--

"Oh, if you feel that way about it," said Dr. Surtaine disdainfully,
"I'll keep it out of print."

"And return it to me," continued the other, in a tone of calm
sequentiality, which might represent either appeal, suggestion, or
demand.

"Don't see the point," said the quack shortly.

"Since you do not intend to use it in your business, it can't be of any
value to you," countered the other.

"What's its value to you?"

"In plain words, the honor of my church is involved. The check is a
bribe. The letter is the graft."

"Nothing of the sort. You come here, a minister of the gospel," Dr.
Surtaine reproached him sorrowfully, "and use hard words about a
transaction that is perfectly straight business and happens every day."

"Not in my church."

"It isn't your letter, anyhow. You didn't write it."