* * *

It is pleasing to note that in spite of the recent spring-like weather the
POET LAUREATE is calmly keeping his head.

* * *

In their last Note to Holland on the subject of the ex-Kaiser's trial the
Allied Governments drop a hint that it was they and not Holland who won the
War. It is impossible to be too definite on this matter.

* * *

Cotton, it is announced, has gone up to tenpence a reel. The new American
whisky stands at the same figure.

* * *

"Boys sing automatically, like parrots," declares the choirmaster of St.
John's Church, Grimsby. His facts are wrong. The only thing automatic about
a parrot is its bite.

* * *

So thirsty were the Americans on board, it is stated, that on her homeward
trip the _Mauretania_ was drunk dry two days out. To remedy this
unsatisfactory state of affairs a syndicate of wealthy Americans is
understood to be formulating an offer to tow Ireland over to the New Jersey
coast if a liquor licence is granted to the tug.