* * * * *

PROTECTION FROM BURGLARS.

FOR IDEAL AND OTHER HOMES.

[Illustration: HAVING SEEN THAT THE FRONT-DOOR BURGLAR ALARM-GONG IS IN
WORKING ORDER--

AND THE PASSAGE SPRING-TRAP ADJUSTED TO A NICETY--

AND THE PATENT PROTECTIVE STAIR-CREAK RECORDER IS SET TO THE RIGHT KEY--

AND YOUR SYNCHRONISED WINDOW-CATCH WARNING SYSTEM GEARED PROPERLY--

YOU CAN JUST GIVE A LOOK AT THE MECHANISM CONTROLLING THE BURGLAR
CHLOROFORM SHOWER--

ARRANGE YOUR BARBED-WIRE-ENTANGLEMENT RUG--

RUN THROUGH YOUR JIU-JITSU EXERCISES ACCORDING TO CHART--

FIX YOUR INTERIOR BEDROOM-DOOR DEFENCES--

AND GO TO BED.]

* * * * *

THE INCORRIGIBLE.