* * *

Much sympathy is felt locally for the man who in the excitement caused by
the declaration of the poll at Paisley lost his corkscrew.

* * *

"The ex-Kaiser was responsible for the War," says the _Kölnische Zeitung_.
Our Hush-hush Department seems to have grown very lax of late.

* * *

A welcome case of judicial sympathy is reported from West London. It
appears that a Society lady charged with shop-lifting pleaded that she was
the sole support of two kennel-ridden poodles, and was immediately
discharged.

* * *

The Press reports the existence of miles and miles of war-material in huge
dumps near Calais and Boulogne. War Office officials, we hear, are greatly
relieved, as they have been trying for several months to remember where
they had left the stuff.

* * *

A lady with small capital would like to meet another similarly situated,
with a view to the joint purchase of a reel of thread.