"Why will not Scotsmen eat eels?" asks _The Manchester Guardian_. We cannot
say, but we have always understood that the attitude is reciprocal.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "HAVE YOU ANY--ER--HATS?"]

* * * * *

THE POST-WAR HERO.

It was a stainless patriot, who could not bear to fight
For England the oppressor, or own that she was right;
But when the War was over, to show his martial breed,
He shot down three policemen and made a woman bleed.

* * * * *

PAISLEY TO THE RESCUE OF THE COALITION.

(_The PRIME MINISTER to Mr. ASQUITH_)

Welcome, for Old Long Since's sake,
Home to your ancient seat!
It needed only this to make
My cup of joy complete;
The weary waiting time is past;
The yawning vacuum is mended;
And here we have you back at last--