I have a cross to-night. I had very much set my mind on going to
the Oratorio. The Prince is to be there, and by all accounts it
will be quite a grand sight, and there will be the finest music;
but if my father does not wish me to go, much as I wish it, I will
give it up with pleasure, if it be in my power, without a
murmur.... I went to the Oratorio. I enjoyed it, but I spoke sadly
at random--what a bad habit!

There is much difference between being obstinate and steady. If I
am bid to do a thing my spirit revolts; if I am asked to do a
thing, I am willing.... A thought passed my mind that if I had some
religion I should be superior to what I am; it would be a bias to
better actions. I think I am by degrees losing many excellent
qualities. I am more cross, more proud, more vain, more
extravagant. I lay it to my great love of gayety and the world. I
feel, I know I am falling. I do believe if I had a little true
religion I should have a greater support than I have now; but I
have the greatest fear of religion, because I never saw a person
religious who was not enthusiastic.

It will be seen that Elizabeth at this period enjoyed the musical and
social pleasures of Norwich, while at the same time she had decided
leanings towards the plain, religious customs of the Friends. It is not
wonderful that her heart was in a state of unrest and agitation, that at
times she scarcely knew what she longed for, nor what she desired to
forsake. The society with which she was accustomed to mingle contained
some known in Quaker parlance as "unbelievers"; perhaps in our day they
would be regarded as holding "advanced opinions." One of the most
intimate visitors at Earlham was a gentleman belonging to the Roman