"REQUIRED an English or French resident governess for children from 30
to 45 years old, having notions of music."--_Standard (Buenos Ayres)._

We are glad they have picked up something during their prolonged
juvenescence.

* * * * *

AUTHORSHIP FOR ALL.

[Being specimens of the work of Mr. Punch's newly-established Literary
Ghost Bureau, which supplies appropriate Press contributions on any
subject and over any signature.]

IV.--WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE DRAMA?

_By Marcus P. Brimston, the gifted producer of "Shoo, Charlotte!"_

I have been invited to say a few words to readers of _The Sabbath Scoop_ on
the alleged decay of the British drama. There is indeed some apparent truth
in this allegation. On all sides I hear managers sending up the same old
wail of dwindling box-office receipts and houses packed with ghastly rows
of deadheads. No "paper" shortage there, at any rate.

Sometimes these unfortunate people come to me for counsel, and invariably I
give them the same admonition, "Study your public."

There is no doubt that, with a few brilliant exceptions (among which my own
present production is happily enrolled), the playhouses have recently
struck a rather bad patch. Useless to lay the blame either on the