The true pronunciation of so singular a word.

I'd like to go to Ruislip; I'd like to feast my eyes
On "scenes of sylvan beauty" that the posters advertise;
But, though I long to view the spot, while I am in the dark
About its name I dare not face the booking-office clerk.

Suppose I ventured "Riz-lip" and in answer to his "Eh?"
Stammered "Ruse-lip, Rise-lip, Rees-lip," just imagine how he'd say,
"Well, where _do_ you want to book to?" and the voices from behind,
"Must we wait until this gentleman has ascertained his mind?"

II.

The trains that stop at Down Street--(Sing willow-waly-O!)--
They run through Hyde Park Corner as fast as they can go;
And trains at Hyde Park Corner that stop--(Oh dearie me!)--
Contrariwise at Down Street are "non-stop" as can be.

There's a man at Down Street Station--he came there years ago
To get to Hyde Park Corner--(Sing willow-waly-O!)--
And, as the trains go past him, 'tis pitiful to see
Him beat his breast and murmur, "Oh dearie, dearie me!"

* * * * *

'"The Rev. R.S. ---- has accepted the post of librarian of Pussy House,
Oxford."--_Local Paper._

And will soon get to work on the catalogue.