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The Skipper and the Skipped - Being the Shore Log of Cap'n Aaron Sproul by Holman (Holman Francis) Day
page 50 of 466 (10%)
"You can read it, and read it out jest as loud as you want to," said
the man, coming forward and putting a grimy finger on a paragraph
displayed prominently on the folded sheet of newspaper.

The Colonel took one look and choked. An officious neighbor grabbed
away the paper when Ward made a sign as though to tuck it into his
pocket.

"I'll read it," said the neighbor. "Mebbe my eyesight is better'n
yourn." Then he read, in shrill tones:

"NOTICE TO BACHELORS

"Unmarried maiden lady, smart and good-looking, desires good husband.
Has two-hundred-and-thirty-acre farm in good state of cultivation,
well stocked, and will promise right party a home and much affection.
Apply on premises to Pharlina Pike, Smyrna."

"I never--I never--dadrat the liar that ever wrote that!" screamed
the spinster.

"You see for yourself," said the man of the swollen nose, ignoring
her disclaimer. "We're here on business, and expect to be treated
like business men--or expenses refunded to us."

But the Colonel roared wordlessly, like some angry animal, seized
a pitchfork that was leaning against the side of the spinster's ell,
and charged the group of suitors. His mien was too furious. They fled,
and fled far and forever.

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