But as the business was managed, it was the worst Question that I
ever voted for. We were a Committee absolutely of Almack's; so if
the Bill is not resumed, and better conducted and supported, this
phantom of 30,000 pounds clear in Bully's pocket to pay off his
annuities vanishes. It is surprising what a fatality attends some
people's proceedings. I begged last night as for alms, that they
would meet me to settle the Votes. I have, since I have been in
Parliament, been of twenty at least of these meetings, and always
brought numbers down by those means. But my advice was slighted, and
twenty people were walking about the streets who could have carried
this point.


December 14, 1775.(134)--I was much disappointed yesterday in not
receiving a letter from you. I dined here and alone and was in hopes
that a letter from you would have come or I should have dined out
for my spirits at present are not good, nor can I contrive that they
should be better, and yet je ne donnerai pas la mort though nothing
in the world has happened, but j'ai les dragons noirs et fort noirs;
l'avenir me donne des horreurs, but brisons la pour la present: I
have bought to-day at Lord Holland's sale of books, "Dart's
Antiquities of Westminster Abbey," a very complete copy on large
paper. But I paid 6 pounds for it, which is 2 pounds more than it
has been usually estimated at. Dr. Baker has promised to propose me
for the Royal Society, and I will be of as many societies as I can
which may serve for dissipation and to avoid what I have more reason
to dread than anything in the world. I am sure a grand coup de
malheur at play would oppress me beyond anything.

I hope that apprehension will keep me from it, and you must assist