The common law of libel.

In short, my hopes begin to fade;
The yawning gulf has rent them
Twixt finding subjects ready made
And having to invent them.
Shattered my foolish dreams recede
And pass into the distance,
And I must search for one in need
Of clerical assistance.

* * * * *

"SOLDIER BREAKS WINDOW AND BOLTS WITH TWO CAKES."--_Daily Paper_.

You can only do this kind of thing with the refreshment-room variety.

* * * * *

"For Sceptic Throats use Iodized Throat Tablets."--_Local Paper_.

This distressing complaint is the very reverse of "clergyman's sore
throat."

* * * * *

"LADY wishes to Exchange, from 15th July to 15th September, Young
Englishman for Young Frenchman."--_Daily Paper_.

We fear she is a flirt.