CHARIVARIA.

"The English comedians are great," Mr. DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS is reported to
have told an interviewer. He has already accepted an invitation, we
understand, to visit the Law Courts and hear Mr. Justice DARLING ask, "Who
is MARY PICKFORD?"

* * *

A turkey with four legs has been born in Purley. This attempt to divert
attention from the visit of Miss MARY PICKFORD seems to have failed
miserably.

* * *

"The increased wages in the catering trade," says an employer, "will be
borne by the public." How he came to think out this novel plan is what
mystifies the man in the street.

* * *

There is one reason, we read, why tea cannot be sold cheaper. If "The
Profiteer" is not the right answer, it's quite a good guess.

* * *

No burglar seems to visit the houses of the profiteers, says a Labour
speaker. Perhaps they have a delicacy about dealing with people in the same
line of business.