"Who invented railways?" asks a weekly paper. We can only say we know
somebody who butted in later.

* * *

"Mr. Churchill," says a contemporary, "has some friends still." It will be
noticed that they are very still.

* * *

"It may interest your readers to know," writes a correspondent, "that it
would take four days and nights, seven hours, fifty-two minutes and ten
seconds to count one day's circulation of _The Daily Mail_." Holiday-makers
waiting for the shower to blow over should certainly try it.

* * *

Coloured grocery sugars, the FOOD CONTROLLER announces, are to be freed
from control on September 6th. A coloured grocery is one in which the
grocer is not as black as he is painted.

* * *

A conference of sanitary inspectors at Leeds has been considering the
question, "When is a house unfit for habitation?" The most dependable sign
is the owner's description of it as a "charming old-world residence."

* * *

The Warrington Watch Committee, says a news item, have before them an