immoralities, she, of course, takes refuge among the impeccable saints
of Presbyterianism, where she ranks high in the scale of sanctity."

"Sartin," said the sheriff; "she is a hard one, I do believe. I saw her
drunk at the donation visit of dominie Grinoble, last winter."

"Yes," said Murty, "when you get such a convert as this unfortunate
reprobate, you boast and write tracts to herald the conquest; but such
conversions as those of Spencer, Brownson, Wilberforce, Newman, Lords
Camden, or Freeling, are as nothing in your eyes. You stuff your ears
when you hear of them, cautiously keep them out of hearing of your sons
and daughters, and these glorious conversions never appear in your
shabby, lying newspapers. I do really pity the blindness of
Protestants," said he, rising and walking out of doors.

Next day after these events, the funeral of uncle Jacob took place, and
these ministers, whom, while he lived, he could not endure, and who
heartily hated him, came, when he was dead, to offer their services over
his remains. If any thing was required to show the meanness and
inconsistency of Protestantism and its teachers in this country, it is
the readiness with which they will officiate over the body of a man
dead, over whose soul, while living, they could exert not the smallest
influence. We have known several instances where Methodist and
Presbyterian hirelings, in consideration of the fee of three or five
dollars paid them, preached long sermons, and opened the gates of _their
Elysium_ to the souls of men who became converted from the sects to
which these hireling parsons belonged. Nay, in cases where the deceased
committed suicide by hanging or poisoning, we heard parsons officiate,
and promise the friends, for certain, that the soul of the suicide was
in glory, because sometime ago he happened to get religion, or join the