unpressagented chanct to see with your own eyes a hustlin' Western town
that hain't ashamed to stand on her own legs an' lead the world along
the trail to prosperity.

"Wolf River hain't a braggin' town, ladies an' gents, but I defy any
one of you to name another town that's got more adjacent an' contigitus
territory over which to grow onto. We freely admit they's a few
onconsequential improvements which is possessed by some bigger an' more
notorious cities such as sidewalks, sewers, street-gradin', an' lights
that we hain't got yet. But Wolf River is a day an' night town, ladies
an' gents, combinin' business with pleasure in just the right
perportion, which it's plain to anyone that takes the trouble to
investigate our shippin' corrals, four general stores, one _ho_tel, an'
seven saloons, all of which runs wide open twenty-four hours a day an'
is accommodated with faro, roulette, an' poker outfits fer the benefit
of them that's so inclined to back their judgment with a little money.

"In concloodin' I'll say that owin' to the openin' of the bank about
which I was tellin' you of, Wolf River is holdin' the followin'
programme which it's free to everyone to enter into or to look on at.

"They'll be a ropin' contest, in which some of our most notorious
ropers will rope, throw, an' hog-tie a steer, in the least shortness of
time. The prizes fer this here contest is: First prize, ten dollars,
doneated by the directors of the bank fer which's openin' this
celebration is held in honour of. Second prize, one pair of pants
doneated by the Montana Mercantile Company. Third prize, one quart of
bottle in bond whiskey doneated by our pop'lar townsman an' leadin'
citizen, Mr. Jake Grimshaw, proprietor of The Long Horn Saloon.